Mini Hatch

• Introduction: Works a Charm
• Month Two: On The Wrong Foot
• Month Three: Dollars and Sense
• Month Four: Farewell - Mini Big Day Out

Introduction: Works a Charm

Mini JCW lands at MOTOR's HQ

I've come to view Mini as BMW’s Trojan horse, slyly sneaking the notion of front-wheel drive into the hallowed halls of Munich.

Let’s not forget that BMW was once a company so proud of its rear-wheel drive heritage that it produced a series of advertisements that mocked drive going to the front treads. That has changed.

BMW’s 128ti is now a front-drive hot hatch, and a very good one at that. Driving that car had piqued my curiosity. If the 128ti was that good, how would a properly hot Mini hatch stack up as a long term proposition?

So the latest addition to MOTOR’s garage is an Island Blue JCW hatch, all 170kW and 320Nm of attitude balled up in a stem to stern length of 3872mm. As much as we like to park Minis next to the originals and claim that they’re huge these days, it’s worth noting that this three-door is still nearly 200mm shorter than a Ford Fiesta ST. It’s dinky.

Climb inside and you’re greeted with the usual Mini dinner plate fascia, metallic toggle switches and steering wheel with a rim so chunky it feels like you’re trying to strangle Craig Kelly. For a car that sails comfortably north of $50k, it’s quite surprising to find no electric seat adjustment, but I’d happily go without that for a seat which hunkers down good and low, which is exactly what the JCW offers.

What I’m not so delighted about is no mirroring for an Android phone. Come on, Mini! As I write this 72.2 per cent of world smartphone users choose the ’droid with only 27 per cent opting for an Apple. I just don’t buy the line that BMW – and indeed Porsche – has trotted out in the past that target customers are typically Apple users. This situation will change, with Mini products introducing Android compatibility, which is ‘coming soon’ although no specific dates have been released.

So, for the time being, you may have to interact with Mini’s proprietary widget-based infotainment system rather than Android Auto which, as ecosystems go, is fairly easy to get to grips with. Elsewhere, a new steering wheel looks slick, with a digital binnacle that moves with it when you adjust it for height, but the flush buttons on the wheel spokes are easy to touch with the heel of your hand, especially the volume up button on the right-hand spoke.

Having taken delivery of the car in one of Melbourne’s lockdown periods, it hasn’t clocked up that many kilometres. It’s largely been used for running to the shops for essential supplies with just the odd thrap up and down the back roads on the way to exercising. I’m only a temporary guardian and I’ll leave it to its eventual custodian to talk further about living with the way the car drives from next month.

The styling has been updated for this year, and it draws a surprising amount of admiring glances. The rear is particularly distinctive with its Union Jack rear lights and the new jutting rear bumper assembly with a diffuser that’s about as functional as a Theranos minilab. Yes, the JCW is expensive for a vehicle of this size, but it’s one of those cars that is so densely packed with interesting design that it feels as if it can wear that price without appearing self-conscious. If the market will bear the price tag – and I’m guessing it will – then buyers perceive value here.

Lockdown might have scuppered a big drive in the car but that’ll come. Smartphone mirroring aside, the Mini Cooper JCW has created a punchy first impression. Now to see whether it has the substance to keep us entertained. - AE

Things we love:

• Surprise 'n delight
• Hits hard
• Raises a grin

Things we rue:

• Price tag
• Chubby wheel
• No Android Auto

Month Two: On The Wrong Foot

Stylish icon has a painful sharp edge, due to user error

As MOTOR’s native state of Victoria slowly begins on its path out of the world’s longest lockdown, it’s natural for many of us, starting to emerge back out into the world, to be a little out of practice in the social department. How many of you, however, have ever fumbled that first ‘handshake’ with a car?

If you recall last month’s update, Editor Enright was the kind custodian of ‘my’ Mini which, due to Melbourne’s more stringent restrictions at the time, arrived at my doorstep some weeks ago.

It was kindly chaperoned by photographer Alastair Brook who selfishly still required a lift home. I opted for the passenger seat, taking the opportunity for a quick prod around the cabin. Dashtop? Soft-touch plastic. Two central cupholders, none in the door.

“I don’t think it has Apple CarPlay” says Alastair, as if to justify the presence of the car’s native infotainment screen.

According to the spec sheet, it does, but as I don’t have an iPhone – I can’t confirm. A YouTube tutorial, however, suggests there is a checkbox you must tick when you first pair your phone to enable the function. As Andy confirmed last month, us Android users are flat out of luck in the smartphone mirroring department. Which isn’t fun.

Upon arrival at Alastair’s abode, I helped him unload his various camera cases and equipment from the rear of the Mini. Peering into the now-empty 731-litres of cargo space, I opted to leave the rear seats down. I figured that since it’s a three-door Mini, and my domestic household consists of just myself, my girlfriend Mel and a small dog, permanent panel van mode is, at that point, one of the Mini’s leading attractions for me.

Having bid farewell to our photographer extraordinaire, key in hand, I turned back to the Mini and headed for the driver’s door. Here comes that handshake.

The Mini was parked next to a rather high kerb, forcing me to ‘step down’ one-legged into the cabin. In a moment of clumsiness and, in my defence, unfamiliarity with the car, I had unknowingly put my head on a collision course with the unexpectedly sharp corner of the side window.

Direct hit. Right in the ear hole. I fell into the seat, stunned that I’d fallen victim to what I thought must’ve been the only pointed corner on the whole car.

I’m happy to report that my time with the Mini JCW since has been nothing but pleasant, and I’ve found plenty more attractions since then.

It’s nailing the X-factor section of the ownership experience, delivering a big visual impact thanks to its Island Blue hue, red highlights and various sporty black elements. There are plenty of details to soak in, from its chunky rear diffuser and central exit exhausts, to its rounded wheel spokes harking back to the 1960s-era Minilites.

The rorty 2.0-litre turbocharged four-cylinder contributes much to the JCW’s pugnacious character. The BMW-sourced B48 belongs to the same modular family as the lovely B58 3.0-litre inline-six, and delivers 170kW along with a smile-inducing buzzing exhaust note that gets noticeably louder from 3000rpm. The twin-scroll turbocharger is quick to spool with an audible induction noise, and the exhaust delivers the slightest ‘blat’ on upshift near redline. I wish there was a little more aural payoff on overrun or on gear change, some pops and bangs certainly wouldn’t feel out of character, but some may prefer its honesty.

Thus far, driving has largely been limited to urban areas near home, but the hot Mini is making the most menial of errands and essential grocery trips feel like an occasion. Living on a major highway, the Mini is proving huge fun in zipping around my restricted radius.

BMW claims 6.1-seconds from 0-100km/h, and while we can’t yet attest to its validity (watch this space), it certainly feels as quick. Even more impressive is the mid-range response, with an effortlessly rapid lunge from 60-80km/h.

The steering has an inherent and welcome weight to it at low speeds, but it doesn’t ‘load up’ with pace and feels light at speed – at least in the default driving mode. It subsequently feels a little vague at highway pace and, on faster sweeping bends, I’ve noticed it wandering within the lane, requiring correction. Some more seat-time is needed, I think. A trip to the hills is high on the agenda, and the Mini feels eager to oblige. - AA

Things we love:

• Looks cool
• Makes you grin
• Sound on upshift

Things we rue:

• Sharp windows
• Basic cabin
• Sound on downshift

Month Three: Dollars and Sense

JCW has character but the numbers struggle to add up

My girlfriend is not a car person. Where you or I might judge a car based on its power outputs, or the way it feels to drive, my better half simply judges cars on their cuteness.

I had kept the Mini’s impending arrival secret, knowing that a new Mini Cooper has always been her ‘dream car’. Needless to say, when the friendly face of the 2021 JCW Mini arrived home with me last month, she was ecstatic.

She, for one, loves the quirkiness of its design; namely its big eyes, and Union Jack tail lights. She’s less taken, however, with the firm ride and the lazy gearbox calibration that is slow to react, delivering a harsh kickdown and soaring revs when you squeeze on the throttle in Normal Mode.

With a few short drives to the shops under her belt, she too has keyed in to the Mini’s weird steering which is heavy and precise at low speeds, but growing somewhat vague and light at speed. Doughy on-centre steering at highway pace sees the Mini gently swaying within its lane, rarely tracking straight and seemingly requiring constant fine corrections which can be wearing.

It seems the lustre is beginning to wane on my partner’s lofty expectations of Mini living. And that speaks to a crucial question that’s been ruminating in the back of my mind ever since taking custody of the JCW Hatch: who is it for?

Its positioning, especially in pared-back ‘Essential’ trim, implies that the Island Blue bomber is reserved for the keenest of drivers. It eschews premium touches like the Harmon Kardon stereo, adaptive dampers and HUD, and opts for the go-fast necessities like fixed-rate dampers and big brakes with four-piston Brembo calipers.

There’s one crucial issue, however, and that’s on the account that cars like the Hyundai i30 N exist. Newer rivals, with fresh bones, bigger muscles, and the athleticism to leave the characterful Mini for dead, are all readily available for a lower buy-in.

As tested, the JCW Mini ‘Essential’ comes in at $54,850, but opt for fully-loaded JCW Mini ‘Yours’ and you’re looking at a sticker price of $62,350. That can be hard to reconcile when compared to a flagship i30 N Premium DCT that comes in at $52,000.

Perhaps there is another way. Trent Guinco had recently spent some time in a new Mini variant, the Cooper S JCW Sport, and we took the opportunity to swap over temporarily. It looks virtually identical to the full-fat JCW but differs in a number of key areas.

The crux is it’s essentially a Cooper S dressed up as a JCW. Gone are the big brakes, JCW-specific turbocharger and exhaust, and there’s a seven-speed dual-clutch mounted in place of the JCW’s eight-speed torque-converter automatic.

Trent and I hypothesized that perhaps there’s a torque limit to the twin-pack gearbox, as the Cooper S JCW Sport yields a 29kW/40Nm disadvantage to the full John Cooper Works’ outputs.

It’s a noticeably slower car from the traffic lights, with a quoted 0-100km/h of 6.7-seconds (as opposed to the JCW’s 6.1), but its standard-fit adaptive dampers, 12-speaker Harman Kardon stereo, adaptive headlights, HUD and sunroof do much to quell the true JCW’s day-to-day foibles.

Had the Cooper S JCW Sport offered a decent saving over our JCW Essential, I might have thought it to be a more compelling package, but there is negligible price difference between the two, the Cooper S JCW Sport costing $53,200. Which brings us back to the original question: who is it for?

The keenest of Sunday drivers may likely shop elsewhere but there are many people out there for whom the Mini is simply an aspirational purchase. BMW knows that there are plenty of buyers who will deem the design language, and sheer force of character more than enough to justify its asking price.

Put it this way: picture your dream car and imagine the pricetag it bears. Six-figures? Maybe seven? With the Mini, BMW has created a 'dream car', in almost any flavour you like, that costs less than $60,000. Whether it’s yours or not, that’s something to admire. - AA

Things we love:

• Character
• Wastegate noise
• Gutsy engine

Things we rue:

• Fixed-rate dampers
• Harsh kickdown
• Pricey

Month Four: Farewell - Mini Big Day Out

JCW Mini is sent off on a high with a trip to Haunted Hills

Don’t look down, I tell myself, as the JCW Mini tops the crest marking the start/finish line at the Haunted Hills hillclimb track. Beginning the descent, I keep off throttle as the first off-camber left-hander looms into view through the windshield.

I’m not here to set a lap time. Instead, I’m simply noodling about to create some B-roll footage and photography for our crew littered around the track. They call for some sense of dynamism though, and with a few laps under my belt, I’m beginning to press on.

The front driver’s side wheel digs into the tarmac as inertia tips forward under ginger braking, and its 1210kgs of mass shifts to my side of the roll centre. For many, this corner commands caution. Haunted Hills isn’t a particularly difficult track, but the steep elevation, courtesy of Gippsland’s rolling greens, means that even a small off can carry very real consequences.

I feel the rear end get light. My knuckles tighten, hairs stand up and perspiration starts to bead my face as, for a moment, I’m second guessing as to whether I’ve scrubbed off enough speed.
A moment later, the car settles firmly on its four wheels as the track angles right again, continuing its sinuous descent.

Head to MOTOR’s YouTube channel for a full JCW Mini track review, but for now, and carrying on from last month’s update, I can tell you that the JCW Mini isn’t an outright track car.

A strong understeer bias shines through, not helped a great deal by the Mini’s lacklustre Pirelli Cinturato P7 tyres. The square-set 205/45/17 runflat tyres are marketed as Pirelli’s first ‘Green Performance’ tyre (make of that what you will), and the front end is quickly overcome with the busy task of simultaneously managing drive, steering and braking departments.

There are dynamic gems if you go looking for them, however. You learn to drive through the understeer, predicting the scrub to the apex. Letting momentum carry you along the racing line to the correct side of the track, you simply wind off lock as speed is scrubbed and traction returns, squeezing on the power as the front contact patches signal that they’re ready.

The 170kW B48 turbo-four is a peach, delivering an entertaining exhaust note with strong response, delivering a peak of 320Nm from low and pulling hard and fast up to about 6000rpm. Sharing its modular design with the bigger B58 inline-six, I’ve joked before about the Mini boasting two-thirds of a Supra engine. Jokes aside, there is a whiff of the Supra’s response in the effortless wave of mid-range torque.

Four-piston Brembo brakes were more than up to the task, biting strong and suffering little fading, if lacking a little in precision and transient feel.

One can’t help but think that an upgrade in rubber, and perhaps some suspension geometry tweaks, would elevate the JCW’s track-day chops with relative ease. Regardless, as an out-of-the-box package, the Mini’s slight foibles couldn’t diminish the grin on my face.

That’s been the overwhelming takeaway after BMW HQ recently called for our Cooper to return home. It’s costly, sure, and seems under-equipped compared to similarly-priced rivals; Apple CarPlay functionality still eludes the wider MOTOR team and my Samsung phone (just) fits in the wireless charger only if I take its case off.

Despite its quirks, the Mini was always a sight for sore eyes after a late night at the office, effortlessly slipping into my daily life, adding a huge dose of character and rarely failing to evoke a smile. The Mini simply does things its own way and has an uncanny ability to get under your skin. Against all expectations, I find myself missing that little blue guy. Until next time... - AA

Things we love:

• Brembo brakes
• Strong mid-range
• Fun factor

Things we rue:

• Understeer bias
• OEM Pirellis
• Lacks tech of rivals